As those of you reading this may or may not be aware, I have a blog. For those of you who were not aware of this fact, what you are reading presently is in fact a blog post. My intentions have always been to post somewhat frequently, but due to many factors such as school, work, and an unfortunate number of good movies in theaters have lead to me neglecting this duty. So what follows, if you haven’t picked up on it yet, is a blog post.
Some of us have fond memories of our favorite classes in high school and college. Others completely hated school altogether. And a few of us don’t even remember school at all. Below (or up, if you are reading this whilst upside down) is a list of eight courses I wish were taught in school, most of which have no value whatsoever but would be fun nevertheless.
- Meme Studies Honors: Unless of course you’ve never been on the internet or your Aunt’s Facebook page (wait, that’s still the internet), you are aware of the blessing and curse memes are on humanity. In addition to being incredibly amusing, memes are also unnervingly influential. Take the last U.S. Presidential election for example, certain Russian groups were able to instigate a whole lot of divisiveness with just a few poorly captioned images. Or, that post of your Aunt’s Facebook page that used pictures of Minions from Despicable Me to convince you that climate change was a hoax. As you can see, tomorrow’s leaders, wage workers, and tax evaders need to be equipped with the knowledge necessary to navigate the meme-saturated future.
- AP Lunch: Knowing how to make lunch is a relatively useful skill for those who enjoy not starving or for those who not John Cisna’s “My McDonald’s Diet”. Spend 18 weeks mastering the art of sandwich-craft and microwave science. Also, boost your GPA with an easy 5.0!
- AICE Cheating Skills: In the world of turnitin.com and intelligent teachers, our students are finding it increasingly harder to swindle their way to graduation. Equip your students with the skills they need to succeed in a world where integrity matters!
- Math for College Readiness: Experience a math class so easy it’s designed for slackers and Seniors who’ve failed Standardized testing! Sleep your way through two semesters as you engage in a rigorous day-by-day grind consisting of 20 minutes of review of the last three years of high school, followed by another 30 of sitting on your phone. Oh, wait, you’re telling me this class already exists? And it’s taught at most schools? Never mind then….
- Google for College Readiness: Hail from an isolated rural community or super-strict home-school family? Then this 101 class is just for you! Spend one semester learning the basics of keyboard use, procrastination, and the No Internet Game. Impress your friends back home with your newfound life skills.
- Pre-IB Pig Latin: Why bother learning a real language when you could learn a fake one? Rearrange and replace those letters as your strive for an A!
- Values of Anecdotal Evidence in Speech and Debate I: Tired of losing in arguments? Fed up with not getting your point across? Then get ready to master making up statistics and quoting your childhood experiences in order to blow the opposition away! Weave a complicated web of truths and half-truths as you bewilder your opponent in heated debates! Now with integrated Trump Tweets in the second semester!
- AP Pop Culture References: Let’s face it, the only thing keeping most people from joining the top 1% is a lack of pop culture knowledge. Buckle-down for a crash-course in everything from the MCU to the DCEU to Steam-Sale Culture. Get ready to get learnt!
Welp, that’s it. With these eight courses our education system could experience unprecedented reform the likes of which we’ve never seen before. Are there any courses you felt were left out of this list? Comment below to share!